Is your baby on a schedule?
Do you feel like your life with your new baby is all over the place?
Has someone told you to “get your baby on a schedule”?
If you are concerned about schedules, what all the hype is and how they are harmful, listen up to this episode.
If you are a new listener, we would love to hear from you. Please consider leaving us a review on itunes or sending us an email with your suggestions and comments to badassbreastfeedingpodcast@gmail.com
WE HAVE TRANSCRIPTS!! You can also add your email to our list and have episodes sent right to your inbox!
Things we talked about:
How schedules start in the hospital [4:09]
Why your baby needs to feed on demand [5:34]
Abby’s tooth brushing alarm goes off [10:02]
Dianne’s client with a schedule failure [11:02]
Why babies eat frequently [14:39]
Learning about your baby [20:36]
Back to imprinting – the only environment your baby knows [22:53]
Following baby’s lead [23:46]
Developmental changes [28:51]
Creating a routine while feeding on demand [29:33]
*This Episode is sponsored by Cake Maternity and Fairhaven Health
Links to information we discussed or episodes you should check out!
https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/episode/breastsleeping/
https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/episode/008-schedules/
Set up your consultation with Dianne
https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/consultations/
Check out Dianne’s blog here~
https://diannecassidyconsulting.com/milklytheblog/
Follow our Podcast~
Here is how you can connect with Dianne and Abby~
Music we use~
Music: "Levels of Greatness" from "We Used to Paint Stars in the Sky (2012)" courtesy of Scott Holmes at freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott Holmes
Is your baby on a schedule?
Do you feel like your life with your new baby is all over the place?
Has someone told you to “get your baby on a schedule”?
If you are concerned about schedules, what all the hype is and how they are harmful, listen up to this episode.
If you are a new listener, we would love to hear from you. Please consider leaving us a review on itunes or sending us an email with your suggestions and comments to badassbreastfeedingpodcast@gmail.com
WE HAVE TRANSCRIPTS!! You can also add your email to our list and have episodes sent right to your inbox!
Things we talked about:
How schedules start in the hospital [4:09]
Why your baby needs to feed on demand [5:34]
Abby’s tooth brushing alarm goes off [10:02]
Dianne’s client with a schedule failure [11:02]
Why babies eat frequently [14:39]
Learning about your baby [20:36]
Back to imprinting – the only environment your baby knows [22:53]
Following baby’s lead [23:46]
Developmental changes [28:51]
Creating a routine while feeding on demand [29:33]
*This Episode is sponsored by Cake Maternity and Fairhaven Health
Links to information we discussed or episodes you should check out!
https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/episode/breastsleeping/
https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/episode/008-schedules/
Set up your consultation with Dianne
https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/consultations/
Check out Dianne’s blog here~
https://diannecassidyconsulting.com/milklytheblog/
Follow our Podcast~
Here is how you can connect with Dianne and Abby~
Music we use~
Music: "Levels of Greatness" from "We Used to Paint Stars in the Sky (2012)" courtesy of Scott Holmes at freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott Holmes
Dianne (00:00):
hi, welcome to the badass breastfeeding podcast, this is Dianne your lactation consultant,
Abby (00:25):
and I'm Abby, the badass breastfeeder.
Dianne (00:26):
Today's episode is brought to you by cake maternity. Cake maternity stocks One of the largest ranges of
maternity and nursing bras. And today's episode is also brought to you by Fair Haven health. If you leak
breast milk, you can now stop losing it to your breast pad. And instead collected to add to your stash.
We'll hear more about our sponsors later, and these sponsors make this podcast possible. So please
head to badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com. Check out our sponsor page. If you need anything, check
there and see if you can give your business to any of our sponsors while you're there, scroll down and
enter your email address and get episodes sent directly to your inbox every Monday.
Abby (01:03):
And now Dianne has our review of the week.
Dianne (01:05):
Yes, this review comes from Hillary 28 and this is just what she needed to hear right now, currently
listening to episode 115, and it is just what I needed to hear. My 10 week old daughter has had a rough
couple of days of weird sleep during the day and fussiness out of the normal for her. And I was feeling
like it was my fault and feeling guilty about wanting my happy content, good baby back. My best friend
happened to text me this morning to check on us and mentioned her baby- Who's four weeks older than
mine slept through the night, twice this week. Hmm. Hearing you talk about newborn behavior and the
ridiculousness of calling a baby good is what I needed today. Thank you. And of course the breastfeeding
info also helps, makes me feel like what we are doing If it works for us and baby is gaining and growing,
then it's perfect. And your right, if your baby is, if it's working for you, then that's all you need. And I
chose this review. First of all, she did put it on iTunes, which is really good. You can put your reviews on
iTunes. We love them, and it helps the podcast a lot. Or you can send us an email at the
badassbreastfeeding podcast@gmail.com. But this was a perfect segue into talking about schedules,
which is what we're going to talk about today. And I hate that.
Abby (02:25):
I know schedules are ridiculous and they're horrible and they're harmful and they're dumb. And we
shouldn't well, your baby shouldn't follow a schedule.
Dianne (02:34):
episode over that's it, right? No. And I know like schedules are hard. It's hard, right? Because a lot of, a
lot of new families want to have some kind of routine, their whole, you know, your whole life is out of
routine before your baby is born. You do everything in a certain time. Your work routine is, is structured.
Home routine is Structured. Your life is structured. And then you have this baby and it's like a free for all.
You don't know what is going to happen next. And you have zero concept of what to do about it.
Abby (03:11):
Right? And so then people started saying like, okay, well we need these babies to work with us. These
babies needed to get on board with our lives and they need to start following a schedule immediately.
And so the best thing to do, and that you'll hear this a lot from the hospital and doctors and you know
these.
Dianne (03:29):
Oh doctors. Yeah. You hear that from the pediatricians all the time.
Abby (03:32):
Yeah. Right. Your babies should be breastfeeding. And we're just talking about breastfeeding schedules
right now, right?
Dianne (03:38):
Yeah. Well the breastfeeding and the sleep schedules, they go together for the most part, from what I've
seen. So mostly breastfeeding. Oh, well, we'll talk about getting to sleep.
Abby (03:46):
Yeah. So breastfeed, you know, you'll hear this mostly where your baby's first born, you know? Okay.
Well, so you should be breastfeeding, your baby, your babies should be feeding every two to three
hours. And that right there is like danger zone. That is not okay. And for a thousand reasons, which we'll
talk about today,
Dianne (04:09):
it is really. Yeah. I think, you know, when they tell you that in the hospital, they're really trying to be
helpful. And they usually say, you know, okay, every three hours, what I do, prenatal breastfeeding
classes, I try to tell people that they're going to tell you in the hospital every three hours, because your
baby is super sleepy and that's when you're waking them. And, but that is not realistic. It really, I have
yet to meet a baby that is like every three hour feeder from the moment they get home from the
hospital, it just doesn't happen like that babies feed when they want to feed, which is why we always
say feed on demand because that's great for your milk supply. It's great because then your baby can
start to regulate their own feeding. But if you tell a family, feed your baby every three hours, and then
they go home and this baby starts to wake up, starts to do some cluster feeding. Maybe sometimes they
feed every two hours. Maybe sometimes it's an hour and a half. Maybe sometimes it's two and a half
hours. Then you have a family. That's like, Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not every three hours. I must
not have milk for this baby. The baby's hungry still. Why does the baby want to eat every hour and a
half? Why does it make me want to eat every two hours? I must not be making enough milk. And then
the supplementing starts, right? Which is not good for anybody. You know? I mean, we know your milk
supply. It ruins your milk supply.
Abby (05:34):
We know from the breast sleeping episode that we did, um, I don't remember what number, what
number it was, but you can look up breast sleeping. And we learned there that, you know, when your
baby is born, the only environment that they are acclimated to is your body and your breast being
latched onto your breast is what your baby was born to do. The latch on this is where attachment. This
is where the imprinting starts. We talk about the imprinting in that episode. Um, and this is how your
body learns how much milk to make. This is how your body and your baby starts to communicate to
each other. And when you're interrupting that literally being told not to put your baby to the breast for
two to three hours, stretches that is very, that's alarming to a baby because your baby doesn't know
where else to be. Your baby is not acclimated to any other environment except being at your breast. So
this is like the beginning of a whole bunch of problems. If you're being told to actually separate your
baby from that environment for these big, long stretches for, I don't even know why. Yeah, because
they're just supposed to limit how much food they're eating, how much time they are with you. That's
ridiculous. And this can cause so many issues that could cause obviously milk supply issues starts to
cause weight, gain issues, concern, you know, like jaundice can get worse. You know, your baby is
supposed to have as much breast milk. First of all, as possible. Why would you want to limit how much
breast milk your baby's taking in? This is like the most nutrient dense. This, this stuff is tailored by your
body, specifically for your baby to have as much as they possibly can get. This is what is helping them
grow the, grow, their vital organs and their brain. This is developing their body in no way, shape or form.
Does it make sense to limit that? No, that is not what your baby is wired to do. It is not what we're wired
to do. It's not how humans are set up. Humans are set up to put the baby to the breast and be kept
there as much as possible. Of course you can put your baby down to pee or whatever, but like limiting,
going like, Oh, I cannot feed it's too soon to feed. You know, I need to be You know, my baby needs to
be on the schedule. The doctor said, she'd be on the schedule. This is way more harm than good.
Dianne (08:14):
And I mean, we get it. I mean, we've, we've both had kids. We know what it's like to like be tired and
over touched and you just want to be like, Oh my gosh, just, I just need a break. You know, we get that.
But the schedule thing is really, really hard for your baby to understand.
Abby (08:34):
Yeah, your baby doesn't understand anything. I mean, they're trying to figure out right now when your
baby is born, they are figuring out how to breathe, how to suck and how to swallow at the same time.
That's all they're focusing on and they need to be doing that in a place that makes them feel safe, which
is you, your body is the only place that they're acclimated. That's where they need to be. And yeah.
Okay. I get it. Yes. It's very hard. And it's very difficult, but that's not. That is society's fault. Yeah. That is
the fault of the fact that we have been completely disconnected from our village. You know, where
humans have been, humans are made to live in village settings, where everybody is helping to take care
of the babies, where everyone's helping to take care of the birthing parents. And, you know, everyone
has their little job in this community and everyone is supported and you're not just home 24 hours a day
by yourself taking care of this baby. And then maybe a thousand other things that is not normal. And
then on top of it, it's a lot, you know, I mean, and, and you know, we do have tools. We have tools like,
you know, like baby carriers and slings and wraps and stuff that you can put in so that you can do what
you need to be doing. Um, but, um, you know, facilitating this, um, sorry, I have an alarm on my phone
that tells me when to tell my kids, to brush their teeth otherwise, no, otherwise no one will do it. Um,
and it just went off. So, Oh, what was I saying? So, um, we, we should be living in a village. We should,
and we're not, but so the, we try to create all these ways to like take pressure off of ourselves, like
creating a schedule and try to create more control in our, in our lives. But what happens is more
problems. We end up having more problems because now your baby's not feeding well now your baby's
not gaining weight well, now you're not making enough milk. Now you're supplementing. And now we
have all of these problems because we were told that we should be restricting these feedings. And you
have a client who was told was five hours. Right?
Dianne (11:02):
Well, she started to, I mean, the baby was feeding, like, you know, like normal, typical, but then she
started to follow one of those sleep, scheduling things, sleep, trainer bloggers or whatever. Yeah. One of
those who's very popular. It's a very popular one. So she started to follow that the baby was only three
months old. I think when she started this program, which, you know, has baby sleeping for an hour and
a half, then eating and then going back for another nap and then eating. So it's a very structured routine
that really only had the baby eating only maybe five times a day, five or six times, because then the baby
would sleep. Then they had the baby sleeping all night. And if the baby's stirred during the night, they
say, okay, go in Pat the baby, give them back the pacifier, rub their back, you know, do these other little
things to just put them back to sleep. It's like, why don't you just pick the baby up and feed them? I
don't understand or don't need, right? Like, why are we messing around?
Abby (12:20):
Just lay down next to the baby.
Dianne (12:20):
It's just insane to me that we're just doing all these other things to make the baby sleep. When all you
need to do is feed them. Like that's what they want. That's what they need. And this was a young baby.
We're not talking about a year old baby. We're talking about a three month old baby. Now only getting
five feeds a day. And she came to me because the weight gain had stopped.
Abby (12:47):
and sleeping for longer stretches than is right. If your baby, yeah, your baby is not, your baby is not
developmentally ready to be sleeping. Those long stretches, that's actually not safe.
Dianne (12:59):
Right? It's not, it's not safe. And she was like, well, they said that the baby should be sleeping this many
hours a day. A baby at this age needs this many hours a day. Yeah.
Abby (13:09):
That's what they said to me. They said that with Jack. And it was still because I was only seeing that one
pediatrician for like when he was super young. So he was under three months and they said that he
should be sleeping 11 to 12 hours a night. What in the actual F U C K to 11 to 12 hours with like a, I don't
remember how old he was under three months. Yeah. It doesn't happen to Holy moly. That is just not
safe.
Dianne (13:40):
Your baby is supposed to be up and feeding. Like your baby needs more. So it's, and it's really hard to
kind of get that message across. You know, I was really having a hard time getting this message across
that, like the baby is not feeding enough. There's not enough volume getting into the baby.
Abby (14:02):
You want to have as much breast milk in there as possible.
Dianne (14:05):
And we don't obviously want it, you know? And then the baby's at daycare during the day or with, you
know, with a babysitter during the day or whoever your baby's with during the day, if you go back to
work, which this particular parent did go back to work. So yeah. Then the babies, and then she's leaving
milk for the baby. And then you read, okay, baby, shouldn't only have this much milk during the day.
While, you know, while parents are gone. Bottlres should only be this size. But if your baby is not
feeding very frequently, then we need to up that. Like the volume has got to get into the baby at some
point, right?
Abby (14:39):
I mean, your baby's belly is super small. Breast milk is very thin and easily digestible. And this is all on
purpose. This is also that your baby is frequently. It's also that your baby is waking frequently because
it's not safe for them to go into these long, deep stretches of sleep or to go very long without eating.
This is all designed this way. Your baby is waking up and asking to feed frequently for a reason. This is
how they're wired and how we are wired to eat frequently in small amounts frequently, constantly.
They're made to be eating constantly. And that doesn't take into, into account either. What we talk
about with, um, which is not talked about very much, but breast storage capacity. So then we have
people with different. So it's not how much milk you make, right? It's how much milk do you store on
your breasts at a time you're always making milk. Your breasts are never dried up. Don't worry. But
some people hold more milk in their breasts at a time. And so that baby might go a little bit longer
without their, you know, to their next feed, as opposed to, to a baby who's feeding from a breast that
has a smaller storage breast capacity. So then they're eating more frequently. It's not, they're all getting
the same amount of milk, right? It's just at the end of the day. Yeah. And that doesn't, you can't put
babies on a schedule. They're not the same.
Dianne (16:15):
Well, one of the other issues that we see is you get these families that are tired and overwhelmed.
Again, a problem of our society, throwing them back into the work field way too early, you know,
expectations that are unrealistic. And they go to the pediatrician's office and the pediatricians are just
trying to solve your problem. They're just trying to help you. So they tell them, Oh, you know, get them
on a schedule or get them started, you know, sleeping longer stretches or give them formula during the
night so that they sleep longer. Or, you know, or you have family members telling you give them cereal
at three months to help them sleep longer, help them sleep better. That's not, it's not safe. Babies are,
then that's going to impact your milk supply. It will impact your milk supply. Once you start messing
around with those routines, right? It's just not good for you, but it's not good for your supply. It's not
good for your baby. And we could talk more about that, right? Yes. We'll talk more about that. After a
word from our sponsors,
Dianne (17:21):
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passionate about breastfeeding and the many benefits it offers for parent and Bub and the environment
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mission to empower breastfeeders. As they mindfully navigate the world of Parenthood and help make
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ranges of maternity and nursing bras includes seamless sleep, flexible, wired, non wired sports, padded
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experience under their belt, Cake maternity is renowned for their quality fit and support. Cake Has you
covered for your maternity and nursing bra needs, head to cakematernity.com and use BADASS15 for
15% off your order. Today's episode is also brought to you by Fair Haven health. Do you leak breast
milk? Have you ever thought about how much breast milk you are soaking up into your breast pads and
throwing away? What if you could catch that milk and add it to your stash instead? The milkies milk
saver allows you to do just that. Slide the milk saver into your bra or tank top on the non-nursing side to
catch the letdown While you breastfeed. People are adding ounces upon ounces to their stash on a daily
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code badass for 15% off your purchase. These sponsors and their promo codes can be found in our show
notes. Under this episode on badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com our show notes will also include further
information about the things we talked about in this episode and at badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com,
you will also find our breastfeeding resources, all of our other episodes and information about
scheduling your very own one-on-one online lactation consultation with Dianne.
Abby (19:46):
Okay. More about schedules. You have more to say, because I have more to say,
Dianne (19:53):
what do you want to say? I've been Talking the whole time so far.
Abby (19:55):
Here's the other, here's The other thing with schedules is that one of the things that we do not value, I
feel like we have babies, and then they're just a pain in our asses. You know, it's like, Oh, I had this baby.
Now this baby's just interrupting my life and interrupting my schedule and interrupting, look what this
baby's doing, you know, to everything. Well, one of the things that comes with, um, you know, the
whole, the, the, the, the, the idea that your baby is only acclimated to your body once they're born is
the fact that is the fact that breastfeeding and breastfeeding on demand allows you to get to know your
baby. You're learning about your baby. Cause we talk about all these things about like, Ooh, learn their
feeding, learn how you and I were talking about this at one point and learn their, learn their hunger
cues. You know, what do they do with their hands or their mouth or their bodies when they're hungry,
who cares? Just put them on the breast. That's how you're going to learn about your baby, you and your
baby and your body, and your baby are learning from each other. The more time that you have
together, the more time that you can learn from your baby. If you're watching the clock, you are not
watching your baby. Okay. It's been, let me look at this clock to tell me when my baby's going to be
hungry or when I should feed next. Now look down at your baby, put them on the breast, see how that
goes. Maybe, you know, maybe it doesn't go well, okay. Maybe they need to be rocked, or maybe they
need to have their diaper changed or something, but look at your baby and not the clock. And you know,
its going to help that. That's how you develop trust in the process, right? That's how you're like, I know
what's going on with my baby. That's how I, I'm their parent. I know what's going on with them because
I know this baby and this baby, and I have been bonding since the beginning. And they've been right
here and I know exactly what they need.
Dianne (21:55):
It's really important for attachment. It's really important. And I see it all the time where families have
asked me, is it bad if I put the baby back to the breast? Is that okay if I do that, like, we have lost the
ability to make that decision, to just listen to our baby, which is just insanity. And I tell families all the
time, like, so for example, we've got a baby that feeds, right? And then say you change their diaper and
they seem a little fussy. Maybe they're rooting around. They look like they want to suck. And mom goes,
Oh my gosh, I don't know if they got enough. Let's top them off with an ounce from the bottle. Just put
them back on. Why are we not just putting them back on? Like, why can't they just don't want to eat
them? They're just going to go to sleep, which is what they needed. Anyway. They just needed that
calming, soothing comfort. But there's no reason why you can't just pop them back on the breast again.
Abby (22:53):
Right? And here's the other thing. Breastfeeding is so much more than food. Yes, we are not just
keeping them there to fill their bellies. This is the only environment that they are acclimated to. This is
the only environment that they know how to be in. And this is, again, going back to the imprinting, going
back to the attachment, going back to the sense of safety and security and that they just got here. They
were in this place inside your body that was filled with fluid, you know, curled up into a ball. And now
they're in this like bright, cold, diaper, loud place. You know this, they don't know what's going on. They
don't know day from night. They don't know. They don't know anything that's going on. You know, that's
just where they need. That's where they want to be. That's where they're designed to be.
Dianne (23:45):
Yeah. I tell people all the time, if we just follow the baby's lead from the beginning, things go way easier.
Like once you start messing around with stuff, then it becomes a cluster. So if we could just follow the
baby's lead from the beginning, it is not a difficult transition most of the time, you know, like you're just
an, and it, if you are just following what they need and you're just putting them to the breast and you're
just like feeding on demand and you're just doing, you know, what the baby's asking for babies will
acclimate a lot easier and a lot faster. At least that's what I've always seen. Those babies just transition a
lot easier. You're not going to have, you know, a four month old struggling if you're just listening to what
they need from the start. But we just don't do that. We always have to look deeper into it and go,
there's something to something else. It's a milk supply problem. It's an issue. No, just put them back on.
And if you're worried about milk supply, then put the baby back on because that's, what's going to get
you more milk, like we're causing more problems.
Abby (25:00):
No, and I feel like that's the other thing too, is we don't realize that actually the baby feeding frequently
and being there frequently is a good sign. It's a sign of a healthy milk supply that your baby is constantly
communicating with your body. Make more milk, make more milk. That's what they're doing there.
They're talking to your body, they're drinking milk and talking to your body and your body's like, Oh, I
need to make more milk. And your body can make milk instantly. Your breast is never empty. It's
constantly, constantly, constantly making milk for your baby. When your baby is at the breast, telling it
to make milk. If they're across the room for three hours, then your body's just like "eh I guess we don't
need any more". Right. And then that's where the problems begin.
Dianne (25:43):
Yeah. It's really like that disconnect. I don't know. It's I blame society,
Abby (25:49):
but yes, society sucks. Well, it's like this whole capitalist society. That's just like here, you know, you
need, you know, we need to get everybody back into the workforce when we need to be, you know, we,
you keep the economy going. We need to, you know, everybody get back or you're, you're no, you're
not being productive member of society. If you're not working yourself to death and you know, doing 90
things at the same time and, you know, forget it. If you're just sitting there on the couch, you know,
bonding with your baby, you new baby. Well, you're just lazy.
Dianne (26:18):
Can't have that happening? No, no, can't have that happening.
Abby (26:21):
And, and you know, this can be seen on like a large scale, you know, level of like, you know, people that
were not, you know, people that were not being paid attention to really as babies. And that's no, that's
obviously nobody that's listening here. That's it. And even if you're, you know, following directions to
breastfeed on a schedule, we just need like a little bit of straightening out of the information. But we do
have a society of people that are like, not really, they kind of have attachment issues. Yeah. I mean, you
can see it. And capitalism is driving everybody into the ground. And this is where this is like, just babies
have been, you know, we're told that our babies are just, you know, causing us all these problems and
we need to fix all these problems. But then we end up having problems with breastfeeding because we
throw all of these, you know, things at it. Well, you need to be doing this. You need to be doing that.
And then you need to be, you know, you need to have this schedule through the night too. You need to
sleep, train your baby, have your baby going to sleep at a certain time so that you can get sleep so that
you can get back to your job, which is all very valid. I mean, if people need to go back to work, I mean,
you need sleep and that's, that's very valid to have that concern. Totally. Yeah. Um, yeah. And actually
the research does show that sleeping with your baby, you'll get more sleep than absolutely down down
the hallway, unless you do the hardcore sleep training where they're sleeping for 12 hours. But here we
are at the end of this episode where hopefully we have shown you that sleeping for 12 hours is not,
that's not safe or developmentally appropriate.
Dianne (28:06):
The other thing you need to, the other thing you need to realize about your baby too, is that they
change and there's developments happening and things that are going on with them. And they're
reaching different milestones and they're learning different things and their brains are developing and
their bodies are developing and they do not follow the same routine all the time. Just like we don't. I
mean, some people do, I'm not one of those people, but some people do follow the same routine all the
time. And they're very regimented in that way. Babies can not do that. That is not their thing. And they
might be following a little routine for a month and then it switches up. Yeah. Then it switches up
because they're in a different growth pattern because then they have a growth spur. They need to eat a
little bit more frequently. So they're starting to wake up a little bit more. They are learning how to crawl.
They're learning how to roll. So now they roll in the middle of the night and they can't get themselves
back. And now they wake themselves up. But like things happen to the, with these babies that bring
them more feeding, more activity, more sleep disruption. Like we can't expect them to just be like this
lump that doesn't do anything.
Abby (29:23):
Right. And I think that's the, you know, for people that are craving some sort of control in their life, you
can have a routine without breastfeed on a schedule or sleeping on a schedule. You know, you can still
do all this stuff on demand and create a routine throughout the day. I mean, once your baby gets to be, I
don't even remember. I don't know, a few months old, their sleep will become a little bit more
predictable. You'll be like, okay, I can see, I can tell that it's this time of day where they start to get
sleepy and they sleep for a little, they have a little stretch of sleep right here. And so you create a
routine around that. Or you create a morning routine where, you know, you can create routines where
you're still keeping your baby at your breasts as needed. Um, so that you can have a little bit more
predictability. And like you just said, um, that will all turn to shit quickly when they're sick or when
they're reaching these developmental milestones or whatever. But, but then you can create a new one.
You know, it's the same, it's the same thing when you're, when you have, even if you have no kids, your
routine gets thrown off. When you have, um, if you get sick or, you know, you have an emergency or,
you know, something happens in your life, your routine gets thrown off and then you get yourself back
together and get back into your routine. Right? I mean, I am a heavy routine person. I need routine. And
so I had a routine, not, not at the beginning because then you're going through the whole transition of
Parenthood, which is like a whole, whole thing that happens to your brain and your mind and your
identity. And that's a, it's like a legit crisis that you go through. And it feels really, you know, it feels
really awful in the beginning. But when you get through that, you can create this routine for yourself
where you feel a little bit more in control, but you don't need to restrict your baby from the breast in
order to do that is my point.
Dianne (31:17):
Right. Right. Exactly. And it's not always about food. If your baby is waking up in the middle of the night,
that doesn't mean your supply is turned to shit. It just happens. And I think we automatically think that
because that's what we're told. Oh, the baby's awake, but my baby was sleeping and now they, now
they're waking up again. My supply isn't any good anymore. Yeah. It's not about the food. 100% of the
time. It's comfort. It's attachment.
Abby (31:48):
Even most of the time as feeding, doesn't take that long, you know, even if they're feeding frequently
and they're at the breast, it doesn't take a super long time for them to feed, you know, they'll feed and
then they're just there. They just want to be there. They're latched on. I remember my dad saying like,
is, is he eating right now? Or is he just hanging out? And I was like, I don't know. I think he's just hanging
out. And he was like, Oh, like, he was fine with it. But like, he, you know, he was kind of like, he kind of
recognized that maybe there was a difference. Like sometimes when they're at the breast they're
feeding and sometimes they're not, and you're not, yeah.
Dianne (32:25):
You're not creating bad habits by letting them do that. That is okay.
Abby (32:30):
Yeah, totally. It's really okay. It's wonderful. It is like, it is a setup for, you know, attachment for
emotional well-being throughout their life for, you know, don't extend into their relationships when
they're grownups and this is like a lifelong thing that we're doing here. Yeah. It's not bad. And we don't.
Yeah. And the schedules are harmful to that. So, you know, to that end, to end to the end, to just the
breastfeeding, breastfeeding established, and sometimes, you know, harmful to your milk supply and to
your baby's health. Absolutely.
Dianne (33:09):
Yeah. So try to avoid them if you can. And you know, like you said, it's, we know some people really have
a hard time avoiding the schedule thing and they like the routine, but maybe try to find a routine in a
different way or try to just, you know, have the support around you to just let it go, at least in the
beginning.
New Speaker (33:29):
Yeah. And if it's, you know, if it's not working, if your doctor's telling you, like, you need to be feeding on
the schedule and it's not working for you, then like, feel free to flush that information down the toilet,
because that's not how your baby is designed to operate. So if it's not working, then you're not crazy.
Like it literally just doesn't work.
Dianne (33:49):
Right. And your baby's going to do something different than somebody else's baby. So if somebody
else's baby is on this amazing schedule, that doesn't mean that your baby needs to be doing that. Right.
As you don't know that, the whole story behind that either. So it's totally okay. Just follow your baby's
lead and that really, you can't go wrong. You really can't. You cannot go wrong with that.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
That's right. Thanks for listening. Thank you. Bye. Bye. [inaudible].